Nearly 10,000 of the funniest jokes online now!
home | categories | a to z browse | search | random joke | submit joke | contact us
JOKES

SEARCH ::

Find:


Viewing Joke:

Category:Heaven and hell jokes
Date Added:10/10/2007
Rating:not yet rated     
Views:421
 
Joke:Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heavens getting pretty close to full today, and Ive been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So whats your story?" So the first man replies: "Well, for a while Ive suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didnt reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldnt you know it, he wouldnt fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldnt stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldnt stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "Its been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldnt hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now Im here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "Im hiding inside a refrigerator..."
 


More Heaven And Hell Jokes:

1.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they w... more

2.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with t... more

3.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are... more

4.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask... more

5.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: Have you ever... more

6.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral ground... more

7.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
St Peter is standing at heavens gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I w... more

8.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.St. Peter greets them at the pea... more

9.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the ter... more

10.   Category: Heaven and hell jokes  0 stars
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter h... more



home | categories | a to z browse | search | random joke | submit joke | contact us | link partners