Nearly 10,000 of the funniest jokes online now!
home | categories | a to z browse | search | random joke | submit joke | contact us
JOKES

SEARCH ::

Find:


Viewing Joke:

Category:Accountant jokes
Date Added:10/10/2007
Rating:not yet rated     
Views:813
 
Joke:Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil company. All day long she loved to run up and down the share price list, laughing and skipping. But one day she was very sad, because she couldnt find an interim dividend anywhere and she knew people would be very angry if she couldnt produce it."Whats wrong, little oil company?" said a gruff voice nearby.She looked around and there was a funny little creature with spectacles, a bald patch and shaving cuts."I cant find a dividend," she said and started crying again."Dont worry," said the creature. "I can find you one.""How?" said the oil company, "And who are you?""Im an accountant," he said. "As for how I do it, never you mind about that. But theres one condition. If I do find it for you, you must agree to let me stay with you.""Yes, yes!" she said, anxious only to get the dividend.The accountant disap peared into some books nearby and stayed there for a while. She could hear him muttering and tut-tutting and transferring accounts. Then he emerged and put his long sloping hand into hers."Ive found you a dividend," he said.Her usual cheerfulness returned in an instant and she rushed off to tell her father, the Chairman. She forgot all about the accountant until he followed her in and reminded her of her promise; despite all her tears, her father insisted that she keep her word and that night the little accountant slept on the floor beside her bed.The next morning she opened her eyes and to her amazement she saw the accountant was exactly the same as he had been before."I know what youre thinking," smiled the accountant. "Youre quite right. Before I was changed into an accountant I was a handsome young man with a devil-may-care attitude and considerable joie de vivre.""Then change back!" said t he oil company, clapping her hands."Are you crazy?" said the accountant. "Handsome young men are two a penny but clever, ugly little accountants are worth their weight in gold."
 


More Accountant Jokes:

1.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
Whats the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?Go into town and gang-audit someone.... more

2.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
Whats the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?Go into town and gang-audit someone.... more

3.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
How do you drive an accountant completely insane?Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wr... more

4.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?Its 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 sec... more

5.   Category: Accountant jokes  5 stars
An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says... more

6.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra fligh... more

7.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective emplo... more

8.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
How do you know when an accountants on holidays?He doesnt wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.... more

9.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?Lost... more

10.   Category: Accountant jokes  0 stars
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.The detective tells him that he needs a description... more



home | categories | a to z browse | search | random joke | submit joke | contact us | link partners